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The Gah-Movement

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Dear Gah, [02 May 2004|04:40am]

I hate you for what you have become.
I am ready to assault LJ users, and you are barely alive.
Write back soon,
10 comments|post comment

[13 Jan 2002|01:50am]

The day I started hating punk rock was the day I got into it. I knew that it would be a dizzying spiral down-wards that would make me understand the lyrics, "I know/ Things are getting hectic/ When you can't get the top/ Off the bottom of the barrel", but I for some reason pursued my interest in it.
Now, years later, I realize that it's not the music I loathe, it's the people. The same people who preach for unity and acceptance, then turn around and bash supposed punks they don't know. The ones that use the phrase "That's so gay," then say homophobia is wrong. The Nazi punks.
I have reached the bottom of the barrel, and I use the excuse of punk to keep from pulling myself up. Is it laziness? In a way, but it's also a comfort zone I've created in the label I've been given. I survive in ways others do not, which often lacks a roof of my own over my head. My entire salary, which goes toward cigarettes, could pay rent were I not addicted to this legal drug.
Punk, and many of its variations, is an elitist culture. People that can afford nice things for themselves are automatically not punk, and those unknown to the culture are outcast. These same elitists wish everyone had the same views as them, but conversely do not want to see an expansion of the subculture. The few variates that do accept all people are likened by myself and others to hippies, and are often pot-smoking vegetarians that do not bathe.
And on the other hand, I have five fingers.
I feel ashamed to be part of this dramatic lifestyle, but find no acceptable ways out. My own self-loathing, then, is something I cannot change, and will continue to self-destruction. I am still able to criticize my culture, realizing my own mistakes and misdirected actions. It is only when I can escape from this label that I will be able to evolve as a human being in a healthy manner.
Until then, L'Cheyem.
9 comments|post comment

[30 Nov 2001|01:56pm]

I can pinpoint the exact moment when I started hating Theater people. During "Don't Drink The Water" in 1999, I started the "bedlam" joke. There's a stage direction in the show calling for bedlam on stage and I made fun of the word. Lo and behold, the entire cast copied the joke and really lamed it up.

Theater people copy each other. They copy the funny ones, few as they are and run the funny ones' jokes into the ground. Do you know why? Two reasons. 1) They're not funny themselves. B) They run jokes into the ground to make those jokes even more inside to their group. Theater people want to be their own exclusive group with their own terribly important lives, trials, relationships, and melodramas. Well, I hate them.

I don't hate theater. I don't hate myself. I hate these goddamn know nothing jackasses who waddle around, giggling about who likes who and who said what about their ex in the stairwell down to the basement. You're goddamn high schoolers who need to grow up or find real jobs because you're sure as fuck not good enough to make it professionally. ANY of you.

As far as other theater gripes go, two more. Number one: "break a leg." First of all, I have broken my leg on stage so I don't need that wished to me. Second, it's elitist so get off it. My last gripe: theatre. Did you see the new spelling? Get over it, goat fucker. No one spells it that way but Canadians and wankers.

*Please view my biography for further information pursuant to the Drake Student Handbook*
12 comments|post comment

[08 Sep 2001|06:01pm]

Our first target: Goths.


Goths have plagued anyone who has ever had any sense of decency. Anyone who has ever had a creative or original thought hates Goths. Anyone who knows the hardships that certain races, cultures, and political refuges go through hates Goths.

Everyone hates Goths.

I've responded to the current entry, called something like "I got a creative exercise for you, groar!" by some guy who looks like a human version of Snagglepuss.

15 comments|post comment

[08 Sep 2001|03:09am]

Next Step

What we need to do
is find someone who
basically represents
one person from
each group we hate
and make fun of them
until they cry.

Be on the look out for

Live Journal people who try to act all deep, or tell about their stupid day; and how "unusual" their life people.

Coffee house pseudo-intellectuals who think that their conversations are like Woody Allen movies.

Goths (basically already found... see ~goth).



People who memorize the lines to lame movies.

Middle Schoolers.


Anything else that's annoying.

7 comments|post comment

[20 Aug 2001|11:14pm]

The Gah-Movement is about to begin.

Back up everything that you have written on LiveJournal that you value.
1 comment|post comment

[02 Aug 2001|11:51am]

New vocabulary:

webrew-a white kid who tries to be Jewish
elusivewreath-the feeling you get when water from a hottub jet gets blown up your ass
nolimitsoldier-an erection that won't go down, often to your embarrassment
weaselbomb-a loud fart accompanied by a stunned silence in the room
tempestxgeo-difficulty masturbating due to painful scabs on the underside of the penis
goth-a victim of several stabbings
punk-can be found in any gutter, screaming at the injustices of the world
31 comments|post comment

[23 Jul 2001|01:41pm]

I am Giant Duchovny Hard-On. As is indicated by my name, I am a ten inch, circumcised penis attached to TV's David Duchovny. We were ridiculed as nerds far worse than you ever were when we went to Catholic school. Your school made fun of you? Our's kicked our asses, once broke our noses, and robbed us of self esteem for 10 years. Back when David and I were in high school, we saw a lot of bad things happen. Our best friend shot gunned himself in the head in November of our freshman year. Our grandfather, who was more of a father than our father, died from complications due to a stroke a few weeks later. Consequently, our mother lapsed into late onset bi-polar disorder. We did entirely too many drugs during that time and began to suffer from dissociative schizophrenia (diagnosed). Refer to our post on "The Father" for more information on that matter. We have nearly died several times. Once, we nearly drowned under four inches of ice in front of our friend who would later shoot himself. Later, we fell off of a cliff inside of a cave in Colorado and were buried under three feet of dirt and rubble only to be dug out seconds before losing consciousness. We do not express our emotions except for anger. Little affects us.

The point is we are sick and tired of Goth kids thinking they have it bad. We've had it worse than all those middle-class, white, suburban protestants who steal make-up from their mothers before having their dad drive them to a downtown park so they can bite each other only to be home by 11 because they're only 14. Sure that's a stereotype, but it's a goddamn accurate one, because I used to be one of those turd burglars. Instead of wallowing around, though, I grew out of it. IT'S JUST A PHASE KIDS! Your lives are fine, enjoy the fact that you have never endured suffering like we, the recovering Goths, have. Your life is not quantified by the amount of pain you can create for yourself.

Please, read what we have to say and let thegahmovement help you!
37 comments|post comment

[23 Jul 2001|11:10am]


I hate punks, I hate punk, Noone has ever known why, well I'm here to tell you......

Back when I, myself, was younger, I was influenced by punks. I, believe it or not was one for about 2 days. I don't know why, I don't understand what made me. The only thing I knew was I hated it. It was the stupidest, most pointless thing ever. Why do punks be punks, well when Chewy was a punk, he learned alot about them. They are basically, not literally, retarded. Actually, Their mindspan goes no farther than, Hey Bob. Wazzzzzzzuppppppp! God I hate that. So being a punk for a few days, I learned that shit was completely retarded. I could go into goth, but I'd prefer not to.

So Anyway, I'm "Chewy", a United States Marine, and I hate punks, and goths, ect, people who think they are better than everyone else cause they have no friends, so they join a group.
3 comments|post comment

[23 Jul 2001|03:55am]

People seem to say that I make fun of what I don't understand. Honestly? How hard is it to understand punk? I'd have to say that it's about as hard to understand as the concept of putting the seat down before you sit on the toilet bowl. Do most punks you know seriously have the intellectual prowess to understand things that most of the population doesn't? Does it require a lot of intelligence to write most punk lyrics? No. In fact, it required the opposite. And lots and lots of marijuana. You have to be dumbed up in order to write punk lyrics. Or maybe I do have it all wrong. Maybe punks really do understand more than the rest of us. Maybe they're really rocket scientists.

I just hope that they're using their superior knowledge to create even shittier lyrics to throw us of, and, hopefully, inventing easier, safer toilet seat technology for the rest of us.
7 comments|post comment

[23 Jul 2001|03:00am]

Hello, my name is Weasel Bomb.

And this fucking sucks.

Zombie Bird got in contact with me after reading my page. My much better page. He stated that he thinks that I am apt to run this page than he is, and I can't say that I agree more. I've noticed that nothing got accomplished here. Almost every comment is done by it's members.

From now on, you must attack random Goth/punk/any other sucky subculture member's journal; sign it as "anonymous," and then sign your name and write "of The Gah-Movement" with a link to ~thegahmovement. Be as brutally honest as you can.

Also, I would like each of you to post a VERY short explanation on who you are, what you are, and why you're here. This will clear up things from gothic internet nerds whining about how we're nobodies in between sucking biker's dick.

Zombie Bird obviously wasn't the person for this.

I am.

I'm the best.

-Weasel Bomb
New President Of The Gah-Movement
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[19 Jul 2001|11:07am]

Who do I remind you of? Everything you want to be? Everything you're happy you're not? Is it something more complex? Do you think of me when we're away, because I am that amazing? Because I know I am. I am the greatest person you will ever know. I am the greatest person anyone will ever know. I am me, unfettered, unclothed, uninhibited me.

That time that you might have seen me naked, who did I remind you of? I will blow your mind if you get to know me because I am nothing you have come to expect. I will change everything about you with my meer presence. You will walk with a limp when I am done with you.

I am my own. No one to hold me and no one to scold me. You will never understand so long as you keep trying to understand. I am a misfit in a land of suits and ties. I am nothing that you know, nothing that you will ever know. This is my manifesto. This is my reason for waking up every day, to blow your mind.

I am the most important person I have ever met. My life is what it is because I have made it that way. I have complete control to do what I want. I will shock you. I will get on your nerves. And deep down inside, you will be jealous. I will make you cry when you realize you cannot be me.

I am the Alpha and the Omega. The beginning and the end. The creator and the destroyer. I am a paradox, and by saying that I am a paradox, I have become one even more so.

I am Goth. And I am coming to change the world.
7 comments|post comment

[18 Jul 2001|09:38am]

For everyone interested, let's look at people who are punk-as-fuck (or as I like to call it, completely at odds with punk rock but still ballsier than the "movement" will ever be):

Eminem-look how many people he's pissed off
Hitler-I don't like him, neither should you. But the fucker had balls and pissed everyone off, didn't give a fuck.
Saddam Hussein-he sure doesn't give a fuck about the United States
Osama Bin Ladin-neither does he
Green Day-they even pissed off punk rockers, THAT'S punk-as-fuck.
Lynrd Skynrd-FREE-fucking-BIRD!!
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[18 Jul 2001|09:00am]

[ mood | Rasing a toast to all the sellouts ]

I am sitting at a coffeehouse when the ARA out of Columbus, Ohio comes strutting over to my table. I come from Wichita, Kansas "frontline" of the abortion debacle. So when these turds come up to me, my first reaction is: fucking out-of-towners. My second reaction is: god these fuckers smell. Anyways, these fellas are more pro-woman than most women are, so they pipe up that there is no one demonstrating at the clinic right then. Then they try to flyer us. An old acquaintance Marlo takes over for me and rips into them about what dumb assholes they are coming into our town and telling us how to feel about abortion. We're as pro-choice as anyone but we spend all year in this town, you come through when the battle gets publicized. Well he tries to make sense but he smells so fucking bad that it must have affected his nervous system.

All of the sudden, I interupt the silly bitch punk rocker and I start talking about going out by the clinic with a lawn chair, a cooler, a bullhorn and a big foam finger that says George Tiller You're No. 1. I figure I should draw people in off the streets and get them to have abortions so that Wichita can keep its lead. I don't want us to fall behind New Orleans, but then again, their clinic just burned two days ago so we shouldn't be too worried about that. I digress. The punk stares me down like I am the biggest asshole in the entire world (and I am) and I start laughing and tell him that I'm just trying to help him out. Isn't he pro-abortion? Shouldn't everyone have abortions? Hell, I'd have a sex change just to have an abortion myself. So he walks away.

As he is turning, I reach my hand into my pants and say that the last time I checked, I didn't have a vagina so my opinion didn't matter. He looks at me and tells me that you know what they say, men who don't stand behind women can go fuck themselves. I take him up on his offer and start visibly playing with myself. As he makes it out the door, I am still jacking off and I yell at him "HEY! The Ramones rock....you my friend, do NOT!"

Here's my conclusion. Every punk who smells bad fucking sucks, because he's an anarchy punk and anarchy will never work in the rest of the world, much less America. Every punk who gets offended when you tell them your syphilitic grandmother is more punk than them fucking sucks. Every punk-as-fuck white male who takes up the political causes of either another gender or another socio-economic group fucking sucks. They can eat me. Why should I believe Baron Von Stinkypants when it comes to women's rights? What the fuck would he know about women's right? Or black rights? Even the NAACP doesn't associate with ARA because they're a bunch of fucking hose beasts.

Here's my solution. Screen out the anarchy punks, and the poser punks, and the ARA punks at birth. And abort THEM! That'll solve a problem. I've got no beef with punk rock, the music may make me feel good from time to time. But punk rockers are tubby bitches who need to be fisted by Edward Scissorhands. And I saw that Green Day Behind the Music. That was more pathetic than the Leif Garrett begging for change at Grand Central Station. And I've SEEN that.

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[17 Jul 2001|03:37pm]

[ mood | this function is for douchebags ]

Look at me
I wear Gap Dungarees
I work for a computer company
Traded on the NYSE

But I am no sellout
My life is not a dream
I cry and pout
My sadness makes me scream

Don't tell the Goth teens
With the green pineapple hair
About the corporate label jeans
That I love to wear

I tried to cut off the label
So my cool Goth friends wouldn't be able
To tell that I smile
But only in secret
And only for a little while

I am so fat
Why can't I get laid?
It's not my hair.
Look at these patchwork pants I made!

Holy shit look at my username!
My friends might think it was lame
I better change it right away
Or the "liberal" conformists will think I'm gay.

P.S. I'm gay.

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[17 Jul 2001|01:56pm]

in the late 70's, the word "punk" was a pure word, it related to mainly a music style that was about having a meaning, and emotion, and not worrying about how it sounded or who it offended, this was true punk, now punk are a bunch of retards TRYING to offend people, or people fighting with each other if they can even be called punks, which if you're a TRUE punk you don't give a shit, and would never post the sentance "I DON'T GIVE A SHIT", cause by doing that you prove that you do care, and are not a punk, but if you tell a punk that they're not a punk, they get offended, like "OH MY GOD NOW I DON"T HAVE A TITLE! watching green day's behind the music made me sick, cause when people told them they wen't punk, they threw a fit, and were like "WE ARE TOO PUNKS!" when if they WERE punks they'd say fuck you and throw a fire bomb at your car, look at joey ramone, joey ramone didn't give a fuck, he was the ugliest mother fucker alive, and he didn't give a shit, he took the stage and MADE people look at him, now that was punk, but sadly this word, is now ruined with the thousands of worthless nobodys who NEED a title in order to get out of bed in the mornings, the people who listen to static x, and canibal corpse, telling themselves over and over again, it has meaning IT DOES!
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[15 Jul 2001|10:36pm]

damn punks......

I hate punks, they destroyed my camaro, and I shot 3 in the head.

It all started 3 days ago. There I was, sleeping, and I woke up to hearing a windsheild bust. I got up and grabbed my 9mm from the dresser, and I went outside. There I saw 3 punks busting up my car. I pulled my gun and they advanced on me. One of them swung a bat, so I ducked, and shot him in the back of the head.

The other two looked at each other and looked back at me. They both came at me on both sides. One swung and hit me in the back, the other stupid one swung a second later and hit his buddy cause I was on the ground. I turned over and shot the one still up as he was shocked he hit his buddy. Then I got up and grabbed the other one. He spit in my face. I punched him and pointed my gun. He said that I wouldnt shoot. I proved him wrong.
The cops came, and looked at them then looked at me. They said, "They were only punks..." and let me off...

Damn punks, I hate them.
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